Ramadan...Day 20

*Inspired by Questfortherightone and soulseeker


Hello again...

I don't know how I feel these days...

I'm mostly glad because we're in Holy days, and my relationship with Allah is ever so beautiful... Why so sure? Coz I know it is... and that's what I regard as a blessing to know...

And in the midst of what I found myself immersed in the past few days made me ponder, as if I lack the skill to ponder, or as if I haven't had enough already lol

But the thing is, Bloggers seem to be interested in marriage, and what I admire is that they regard it as a quest... highlight to Quest... not just a simple "I Do's" and whatchamacallit... but a real, sincere determination to find the other half.

If you've read my blog (thoroughly speaking) you would obviously know that, same as most of the others I follow around here, I have lived in the west for quite some time... enough to sufficiently clothe my eastern origins with the western mind...with a cherry on top.

* enough to sufficiently..!!?? what the hell was that!!?

Ahem...Moving on...

When I finally came back to my home country, as a full grown teenager, I began to realize my parents' (especially my Mom's) concern about matrimony... perhaps that was the major reason we came back so hastily in the first place... but anyway -_-

If ever there was a time, when I thought I'd be totally going wakco because of this issue... it was when I reached my final year at college.


********

Confessing an Experience # Part 1

The year before that, (year three) I had worked like hell to gain good... excellent grades! With Allah's blessings, I was top student that year...

Most naturally, there are always consequences...

I fell ill, due to my nervousness and lack of rest... that summer, I had a severe nervous break down. And sadly speaking, in terms of medication, I didn't get the best there was... when I was rushed to hospital in the middle of the night, I vividly remember, though in agony, the blank looks on the doctors faces, which apparently suggested "We have no idea what's with her!"

They gave me tranquilizers ever since... and that was the beginning of my nightmares.

Year 4 started, and I was still on prescription drugs... which there was no neccessity for my taking them... it was like hell... they made me sleep almost all day and I was like a limp goose<< ?? >> ahem... and that wasn't really helpful for my studies. I skipped many classes. And whenever I tried to get up I'd fall back. Going places were horror movies... I feared leaving the house, that I might collapse outside or somebody's house and that wouldn't be a merry scene. Like people were already giving me the looks and questioning my health... How would you feel?

I couldn't go out to the shops, sit with guests for a long time, or even enter a discussion, coz that was a lot of effort.

My family thought I was just being a spoiled baby (reminder: I'm the youngest in the girls) ... I was 21 at that time... who would play such a scheme at that age!!??

E77777

Mom insisted that I should be taken to Tunisia, seeing that no medication proved worthy in Libya... (in the meantime all I suffered from was stress... and imagine curing stress with mega stress and medication)So, Honeybun was whisked to Tunisia with her Dad. We stayed for a whole week...during which I lost 5 whole kilograms. I lost my appetite to eat, and only lived on bread and butter for breakfast, and a cup of yoghurt at night... I simply couldn't get myself to eat. And what's worse I cought a cold, coz the weather was cooler there at that time... the beginning of Fall.

One day I fell ill at some friends' house (we knew them ever since we were in Canada and now reside in Tunisia/ now you know why I hate going places? Let alone travelling to another country!!) so they took me to the hospital... it was late at night so no crowd in the emergency room... They put me in a room where the doctor was to see me. I felt terrible.

The doctor came in and sensed the commotion... our friend's wife (I'll call her S )was so worried and Dad and her husband were in the room too... how humiliating -_-" you ain't seen nothing yet.

As I lay there in agony, not knowing what the hell was wrong with me, the Doc came close and leaned over me and said : "Shbeek Honeybun, La bas?" i.e. what seems to be the trouble with you?

The moment he said that... I started crying... T_T... unwillingly... Or maybe I really wanted to... after all that's been going on to me.

Then S approachedand asked the Doc "What's wrong with her?" He backed away and addressed my Dad. "She seems to be bothered by something- wow he's good! *rolling her eyes*- she must have been through a lot of stress."

Dad: "Well, yes. In addition, she's not a very vocal person and doesn't vent all that's inside her...unlike her sisters- oops, confession from my Dad * jk*- and I'm sure life hasn't been the same for her ever since we came back to Libya."

Doc turns to me and says: "Ok, then we'll find her a husband here in Tunisia if she doesn't like Libya."

How...embarrassing...!

Dad and the others laughed... yeah, they had to humor him. If my Dad was the narrow minded men, he'd chop his head off hhhhh

So, the joke over... the Doc sent them out for me to rest a bit. He came back like 10 or 15 minutes later. He leaned over as I had my face covered with my arm.

Doc: "Honeybun, are you in love?"

GASP... the nerve of his!

Gulp! I shook my head...

Doc: "Are you engaged?"

Shook my head again.

Doc: "Then I'll find you a Tunisian husband." and he chuckles.

Idiot... I smiled out of politeness... as Mimi said: just smile and nod.

He was silent for a moment then said: "Ok, I'll talk to your father and ask for your hand."

Gaaak! My eyes flung open...what the...? And when I gave him another polite smile, that totally suggested "Thank you, but forget about it." He looked at me seriously and said: "I'm serious. I'll go and sit with your Dad if you'll have me."

Yikes...!!

I beg of you, pals and gals... what do you make of this?

Honeybun (faintly): "I'm not thinking of marriage now... I'm ill and I still have my final year at school."

Doc: "No, that's no problem. You go back to your country, I'll be there in about six months for the engagement, you graduate and then come with me here. English is highly in demand here at schools so you won't have trouble finding an occupation."

OK...time to breathe in... and out... He totally was thinking ahead... no he actually THOUGHT ahead already! My mind jumped into action.

Honeybun (still maintaining the polite tone): "No, that'll be difficult. We'll be from different backgrounds (trying to find any excuse) and... and I can't leave my family." lol omg I can't believe I said that!

I mean, who was supposed to be soothing who here? I was under the effect of a tranquilizer (oh yeah, they gave me a shot earlier)and at the same time, trying to think in a lucid manner as to how to get away with this...

And as Allah answered my unspoken prayer... the Doc was paged and another emergency case arrived. He looked around then said: "Just think about it." He helped me to my feet as it was time for me to fleeeee.

"Inshallah." Was all I said. Like, in your dreams! Aaaarrggh

And that was the first and last time I ever saw and heard of him...till this very day.

In the car on the way back to the Hotel, S turned to me and said: "Did you hear what the Doc said? He wanted to find you a husband. (she scoffed)"

I smiled and nodded lol and thought "Little do you know, S, that the husband he had in mind was him."

You know, if it were to count... his was the first proposal I ever got in my whole life :P


To be cont...

09/09/09

^_^

Dearly beloved,

We are gathered today, not to witness a couple getting married, nor to dorky about today's date hhhhh but for something more important :)

Today, I announce the launching of my very own website *sniff choke*

Yippeeee!!

I'm so excited about it :D

It's mainly dedicated to all Arab females who have experienced life on another planet ( per se ) lol other than her home country. We shall all be a part of a united community in cyber space to get together, share experience and do many more.

So, I want to start sending out invitation to the lovely ladies I know here, and hope that in turn they'd pass it on to enlarge the circle.

I'm counting on you girls ;)

See you at the site and I hope it appeals to all

http://honeybunzdomain.webs.com/

Till next time ;)

Tag!! You're it!! :D

How are you doing y'all? Almost the last third of Ramadan... you doing your best so far? ;) Inshallah He will acceptc your hard work... Ameen

So... now it's tag time nehahaha!!

I was tagged in a forum to post a pic of what I usually carry in my bag :-S hehe
Not too intimidating... don't panic... so here's my cargo to start with



What d'ya think? ;;) hhhhh

1 anti-bacterial gel
2 iPhone
3 tissue
4 Purse
5 lip pencil (and sometimes lip gloss- depends on the weather... or the mood hehehe)
6 bus ticket
7 pen or pencil
8 lip balm
9 hand cream

OK now it's tag time... and I officially tag: iBeeBarbie, Quest, Random Hijabi and Faith

Can't wait to take a peek :P


Till next time ;)


TAG YOU'RE IT!! to everybody else who reads this XD

Ramadan: Day 9... Engulfed with frustration of surrounding human beings

Ok... Day 9 is here...

Boy! Days do fly... I'm counting the days till the start of my course...
I'm anxious, naturally, but thr main thing is that I will be busy doing something rather thinking about my misfortune with flat mates...

Pooooffff!

Last Saturday, I met with Julia ( my savior and good listener- had she not been married, I woulda asked her to live with me... :(

Ah well... You just don't win them all, do you?

The thing that keeps me within the range of sanity is the fact that we're in a holly month and patience will never pass unrewarded...

So... For the umptieth time... I'm being patient...
Ever heard this in a song?

الصبر ما كيفه دوا لليعه.... كميان سرك خير من تطليعه

Easier said than done... But I always seem to do it the hard way.... *sigh*

Anyway...

Today my landlord called and she asked if I was free for the day... she wanted to invite me for Iftar at her place :) That was really nice of her... but sadly, I politely rejected her invitation... so later in the evening, she rang me and said that her daughter was stopping by... she brought with her some of their Futur for us! *sigh* that was really really nice of her... I felt happy that there are people out there who still care for each other... which made me feel better that even due to my irritating lifestyle, Allah shows me signs of his compassion and blessings...

So, Alhamdulillah

I came across some pretty images of Anime wearing Hijjab, so I wanna share them with you:

















Till next time


;)

A New Day Has Come...

Ramadan... Day 5

Salam to all... I hope your enjoying your time during this Holy month... Don't you just love it?!!


I know... weird how one's mood can swing... and mine surely does I assure you *blushes*

So...since I ain't got a tv in the flat, I resort to watching stuff on the internet... not just videos on YouTube... but series and programs on tv websites such as mbc, dubai ...


I'm definitely not a tv person... but there are stuff that I tend to follow and actors whose work appeal to me... for example, like no girl would know Teim Hassan :) ...yeah he's a cutie... but that's not all, he's so damn talented, so I'm watching Zaman El3ar ... and that's it lol.... like last Ramadan I only watched Sera3 3ala arrimaal ... outstanding piece of art I must say...


Of course I wouldn't leave out my days without enriching myself with my gloreous religion... and to whom other than Amr Khaled do I turn to? I don't know about you guys, but he's got a way in reaching out to people... I for one am entirely grateful to his efforts in simplifying info and loads of stuff about our I slamic teachings and history... I just love him in Allah ... (I actually prayed for a husband like him once upon a time *blushes again*)

It was during my first year at university, I had just came back to Libya and this girl who studied a year ahead of me mentioned him... it's amazing how I clung to the note and directly tuned in to his program that exact night... and man... I was whisked off my feet... and realised how much I had been putting waaaay behind me...


If I would compare myself with who I was ten years back... an amazing shift!

Not that I was ignorant of my religion's teachings or anything... I prayed, fasted, I even went to Umrah more than once while abroad... but there was much amiss... taking into consideration Tasabeeh, morning and evening athkars and so on... I never took those into consideration...

Now I know how to be at peace with myself... and today when I tuned into amrkhaled.net to watch his program, the one I anticipated every Ramadan for the past 8 or 9 years!! Can you imagine? It's great how something good, once learnt, you cannot part with...

My Arabic teacher once told us, that when one gets used to a habit, feels the lack when he stops doing it, and here he was talking about Salat... when you're used to praying each prayer in its exact time... you feel restless once you miss one!!


That's the beauty of living in an Arab country... there are mosques... you could never miss a prayer... no need for a timetable to check... it's there near you telling you eac time 'it's time'


Going back to Amr Khaled's program... so I watched the past few episodes of this Ramadan, and he mentioned something I'm glad to be reminded of... Attawakul التوكل ... and I realised that the small things that are irritating me nowadays are silly things and I'm only wasting energy on them ... let alone not doing anything about it...


A new day has come... a new lesson has been learnt... and that's what makes me content of being reminded and aware...



I would like to give a special thank you to ibeebarbie for her motivation... and my new acquaintance Quest... Barak allahu feekin and may Allah grant you peace, stability and shower you with his blessings...


Salamz


Till next time

Goodbye Shabaan ... Hello Ramadan :)

Hello again,

So far so good... :) and I want to be smiling as I'm typing this... to the great wide void that connects me with people..

It's weird at times when you feel you're all alone when everyone's around you...

I hate that feeling.. and that's not how I want to live... or keep on living this way.... if you guys have any tips on how to cope with a flatmate... please let me know... lol

Anyway... I seem to be on an ongoing search for things that would take my mind away from the daily irritations... I swear I'm doing my best! To the extent that I went to see a movie tonight... desperate huh?



Yup, that's what I went to see *blushes* it wasn't bad... I just had to do something...Not that I wasn't quite busy lately, I've been head-over-heels bustling about in a Libyan Forum, which I think is quite cool... (care to join?)

www.elksad.com ... my user name is Honeybun :D << cute name isn't it? hhhhh

Anyway,in the English section we've arranged a short story contest (if you're interested lol) I'm the head of judges ^_^ which is an honor ...

Bla bla bla... don't wanna keep rambling...

Can you believe it? my studies start in less than 4 weeks!! *shiver whimper* Boy am I glad that's come at last! *sheesh* I can't wait to get it over with... I swear... I think I've had enough of this country... with all due respect... or perhaps it has to with my surroundings.. very ghastly I assure you... add a little "depressing" on top *sigh*

But, as one girl once said "willing to try , willing to learn" so here I am...willing to try and willing to learn no matter what...


Salamz for now...



Till next time :)

Honest Scrap About Me!!

:)

This is really cute. I came across a cool blog and the blogger suggested that whoever comes across her 'honest scrap about me' to do the same and tage others with it. I hope I got it right, so here goes :D

1) I'm the youngest of three girls *baby*-- but i have a brother younger than me...bummer >:( lol

OK...

2) I was a veeery shy and quiet person as a child and growing up ... but in my teens, I got outta control ( don't worry, only at school and with my friends, plus I still have that feminine side in me *batting her eyes*)

3)I love sweets...chocolates, cakes, ice-cream...you name it !

4)I hate loud voices (namely girls with a loud voice- totally unfeminine, don't you agree?)

5)I wore the Hijab when I was eleven :)

6)I collect stickers (esp: Disney characters ;) and any cute stuff)

7)I have to buy postcards from any country I go to, so I have a collection of cards right now :)

8)I used to translate for sick Arab people back in Switzerland (go with them to appointments and be there after surgery...etc) - I loved it!

9)I'm very good with kids (esp: babies- not the ones that cry all the time :D)

10)Hmmm... I was there when my grandfather ( my Dad's Dad ) died, I was 13.

There... I feel better now lol...

Your turn :D