A New Beginning...

Hi y' all!

To begin with, this post won't be that long. At least not long enough till I've made my main point ^,^ heehee

I've mentioned previously that I'm in for a better year inshallah.. pretty optimistic about it, I must say :)

So here's to the new year! I'm in for a fresh start. New technique in living. New mentality to go with it. New everything inshallah...

If I had the chance to go back home before my time in the UK is up, I'll make sure I go as a different person than I came like. (make sense??) To the better of course!!

I'll let you in as soon as I sense the change has made its effect upon my life. Pray for me guys :)

As I'll pray for you :->

Take care and have a good one ;)

Till next time,

Sparkle xxx

That Time Again ^_^ /

Dear All,




I trust you've been well?


I have. And haven't at the same time. You know complicated me.


And it's very often truly...complicated :)


Yeah, highlight to the " :) "




I know I shoulda told you guys looooads of stuff but... I'm only human >/////< 








Waaaaaaa!!






So, in order to keep my life in check (you do realize the difference when you record stuff down in any form, be it diary, blog...etc) I went through Dec 2009. I know I didn't do a resolution back then... but I had one in mind. I mentioned most of my intentions throughout my entries that followed.




I decided since it's a little overdo that I might talk a bit about the major events of 2010 for me :)




Here goes!! \(^,^)/




*Will try and keep it in chronological order* (heehee)


1- 2010 started off with my being head-over-heels and way deep into my studies (first semester) I was struggling to establish myself among my peers... not knowing how I'd ever measure up to their writing abilities and experience. I felt really lonely :(




2- I think when I received the results of my first semester that's the time I figured out where I was standing... that was the spring board that allowed me to form and plan my following steps into the course (MA course).




3- I made good friends from my group (awkward enough... yes, some of which were English!!)




4- Spring/ Summer found me digging way deep into my research project... something I'll be forever proud of ^_^ All thanks due to Allah Almighty...




5- Major disappointment: Wanted to go back home (Libya) for the summer.... needed a breather really badly!! Did not go as planned.... and I never went. Major payback: I got to work extra time on my project. So there you go XP




6- It's been a long time since I last studied during Ramadan (last time was...in... 2002 I think? When I was in second year at college ^_^) And Ramadan was really hard this year... hot long hours... Inshallah we'll be rewarded greatly ya rab.




7- I've been thinking seriously of getting married ASA I am through with my MA ^_^"




8- I had my haircut so short just like last time back in, like, 1992? :) woohoo!!




9- I felt so free-spirited, and tried out a lot of things I've always wanted to try out... I now know for sure that I'm way stronger than ever.... and I'm a survivor.




10- I've been yet again through another breakthrough in matters of the heart... and I'm glad.




11- I graduated and received my certificate... my main mission here in the UK finally accomplished :)




I think December was the most month in which I cried.... Life's hard, no matter how "strong" I think I am... but as I like to say: I allow myself the space to grieve... just in fear I might suffer from side-effects on the long run (God forbid).






Will be back with more inshallah






Here's wishing you a happy new year... I'm optimistic!! So feel the same ^_^






Till next time










Sparkle

We're Gonna Party... It's Yo Birthday...!! ^,^ /

Yup

It's my birthday today ^_^

The sun is shining.... 

Trying to stay positive for the next 24 hours or so XP

Big Smiiiiile :D

And there you go!

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PS?

I'm 28 this year ^/////^

Will share birthday pics soon

Till Next Time

Birthday Girl:

Sparkle xxx

Where Do We Go From Here...?

Decisions, decisions... what to do? where to go? how to dress? and what not!!

A break, please?

Of course not! Like you get to some point in life where things are on Tempo and you wanna relax? << that's basically my inner voice -__-

Me: Like, yeah! I wanna a break to rest and ... ugh! Why isn't it summer now?? Why does my course have to end by the beginning of winterrrrrr!!??

T_T

Puff...

Now that I've finished, the only reason for me to stay here is that I get a hole in the head!! But no, there's not... there's the fact that I gotta start working on getting my PhD grant |:(

Yes!! I would love to!! And thinking about has been keeping me awake for the last few days... You know, the excitement of embarking on some kind of adventure? That's how I feel inside! Regardless of all the hard worrrrrk that's ahead of me -___-" Yet! I haven't felt this way about my Masters... eh?

Maybe.... Just maybe, because I might not do it here in the UK?

No offense to all who's here already... but... I just didn't find myself on these grounds :~( Even if I had... I'm willing to go in search for the different, the new.

So, now, I'm sorta called "LandSeek" lol Just like my fellow friend SoulSeek (check out his page, you'll like it ^_^.... FYI, he hasn't paid me to do this -__-) heehee

My friend Shorty's heading for the States inshallah for her undergraduate level... and as I mentioned before... seems like all that I know is going there :-S ... so why not I? heehee

Now there's the question of, how different is it gonna be from here? Um, the only one I can think of is that of accent XP remember my post about accents? Ugh, that was a nightmare!

I've somehow mastered the taking care of myself part, and knowing how to get myself around a foreign country on my own quite easily, so Inshallah that wouldn't be such a biggy... I hope. If I could just get my mother not to worry about it (yes, from now on!) >_<

Ah well... Those are mere thoughts of a matter that's yet uncertain and in the hands of God.

Today was really cold (Not that I left... yet??) It snowed a teeny bit, and now it''s sunny. We haven't had sun for this long for quite some time :) Good to be back XD


My main focus these days?


To try and read as much as I can... get my hands on.


So there you go. Now I'm reading Ahdaf Soueif's "The Map of Love" :)

So far so good, I guess.



Till next time,



Sparkle xxx

Off The Hook

And yet another day has come...

It's almost 9:30am here... and I'm awake!!

I couldn't go to sleep after Fajir prayers, which was about three hours ago.

There's so much going on (mostly in my head), not that interesting stuff, but it sure is making me tired...

I sometimes think, why can't I just talk about things here? Since I'm already anonymous to the majority in blog-sphere...

Dunno...

Perhaps it's cos of the fear that I'd regret and feel bad about myself blabbering about private issues? Or perhaps I'm scared I'd get busted?

But then again, like it's nothing uber confidential... it's just... well it is to me, okay.

Why am I saying this?

Okay.

Eid went quite well (nothing major happened) I tuned in with my Mom to family in Libya via webcam and watched my dad, sis and bro work their way out with the meat stuff XP so lol!

I even video taped them with my cell phone and sent it to them... *evil laugh*

Wow.

I realized how much I missed home, and can't believe (and wait) till I'm actually there again... though things are yet uncertain... the hope is overwhelming :)

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Yesterday, I finally had my hair cut! Yaaaaaaay! Man I'm so relieved!! T_T Mom came with me too and we sorta had the same trim *heehee* like mother, like daughter...

Quite happy and satisfied with the results :) alhamdulillah

It's amazing how little details can make a drastic change in your life. I've been chatting with my friend Shorty almost everyday recently. She's about to go study in the States, and the idea of her going through what I've been through coming here is indescribable.

Talk about history repeating XP

Plus, I came to realize, that most of my friends now I've known through the internet!! And I haven't seen, like, half of them!! "_" How freaky is that? Should one worry?

But then, why? I mean, it just hits you at some point whether that person is worth hanging on to or not... plus! The chatting online is more like TV to me... you can tune in to it whenever you like, with whomever you desire :)

Isn't technology wonderful?

Oh, and I passed my research project ^_^ I was over the moon!! Alhamdulillah!!

Now...

I'm kinda tempted to resume my PhD...

Crazy!! I know!!! >_< /

I figured that there's no harm in giving it a try... if I do get the opertunity, then I'd be the luckiest,ever.

And I'm content...

Till next time?

Sparkle xxx

Happy Eid!! ^_^

Here's wishing you all a happy and wonderful Eid !!

May Allah accept your deeds... and many more...

Many happy returns...


Till next time,

Sparkle xxx

It's Nothing Personal. It's... Nothing Personal

Surely you've heard of the most famous phrase from The Godfather?

"It's nothing personal. It's business."

It's nothing personal. It's not even business. It's not.

Okay. In matters of love, I don't claim that I'm the best ever... romantic!

ضاقت بيك .... تبقى عايزني اكون حواليك ....ضحكت ليك.... اخلاصي يكون حمل عليك....
في الحالتين لا بنساك ولا عايزه انسى

I mean, what is wrong with me??!

I've been asking Allah for guidance, inspiration... some kind of revelation!! And it just comes across me as the right thing to do. Or perhaps that's what I think it is.

Should I go for it?

Story: I've been asking Allah for something (you guess it people! >_<) and this guy keeps coming across me!!     I know I wanted to be through with him for ages, but he... keeps coming into the picture. HE! Not ME!

Puffffffff!!

Like, I really needed this right now!

Back during my course, he wanted to approach and I sorta kinda scolded him to leave me alone. And to be honest, I really wanted to be left alone. I was up to my ears at Uni and the last thing I wanted was to get involved with him again.... the confusion, the blech!!

*sigh*

Why are guys like this?

And if he's that kinda guy, why do I get to suffer?

Is he, after all this, the right guy for me?

So, after all, the way I'm feeling right now, is nothing personal. It's just not.


Allah grant me guidance. Allah grant me guidance. Allah grant me guidance.

And patience.

Amen...



Till next time,


Sparkle xxx