Saturday, October 23, 2010

Same Ol'.... Same Ol' ... And What To Do About It.

It's always uncertain...

Sometimes I don't know why I get to feel the same. Same old, same old. I'm wondering if I'll ever get over it. Ever!

I took a moment to think where I needed to post this. If it were to go on the Rant-O-Vision, then it would sound more like... a rant! When I kinda feel it's not. In this blog, it's all about my inner feelings. The ones that I want to share in a sorta subtle way (?)


I'm just tired. Exhausted. Can't wait to go home. Home.

Graduation day is in December. Dec 14th. Puffff. More like a century ahead to me. Course's over, and most would love this part. Naturally it's the time where we should relax, have fun, anything! But I'm not going through that phase. And that's why I wanna go... home.

I'm tired of baring responsibility for everything. Having to plan everything. Having to think about everything. Worrying where to go. Making sure no-one gets bored or upset.

Ever thought of a time where you can go to sleep, and say, "If it's over.... let me know."

Yesterday, I talked with my sis back home. I told her that I can't wait to go home and set myself free.

You might be thinking, "Okay, this girl's being a brat, not able to take care of things in life."

Before I comment on that.... Doesn't everyone like to feel that way?

I'm actually not. I don't bend under the first wind that blows at me. I start to lean when the wind becomes a storm and no-one's by my side to shield me. Allah's with me. Yes. But He's put me in such conditions to see me. How I'll do. Isn't that enough to go by? Doesn't that empower enough?

Sure does.

It's important that we get reassurance, though hard on a daily basis, but good from time to time....every now and then. I find myself looking for it. Not waiting for it to come to me. I keep reminding myself of happy things. The people I love and love me back.

And I feel blessed.

But that's life.

And those are its thorns...

And we should never bend. The only reason to do so, is a result of loneliness...

And I'm not alone.

Sparkle ...

1 comment:

ibeebarbie said...

Salam Dearest Sparkles,
I can completely relate to this on so many levels.