Wednesday, September 30, 2009

She'll Be Comin' Round The Mountain ...

School's back...

It is for most people out there. Our dear school students at their various stages; the ones at college heading for yet another year; teachers preparing for lectures etc...


Well, it's all just started ! lol

NB: Surely, ignore the fact that I should be asleep by now!!

I started yesterday, as in Monday the 28th. Last week was induction week, where we had general meetings about the program and what not, in addition to a lovely international student lunch.

Settling down wasn't that hard. Or maybe that's what I think... for now. I am the only Arab and muslim in my group of about 20 MA students(99.9% of which are English!) The problem I'm facing, basically, is the fact that their Yorkshire accent is nowhere near comprehensive ... pain... in... head. But they're very nice and friendly... so I have nothing to complain about.

I take writing for stage and screen as one of my optional modules (something which I never even dreamed of taking in my life!)And the tutor's in the habit of moving about the class in a dramatic fashion (I'm assuming unintentional, as it seems a matter of habit lol) with an occassional wriggle of his brows, and devlish glare when emphasizing a point. A masterpiece hhhh.

Today was Short story workshop. I simply loved it! I'm completely familiar with the narrating game where someone starts off a story by writing the first sentence and then another person adds on to it, as a result, a short story- not neccessarily sound, is born! Except our tutor took a different approach and asked us to do it orally...


lol so he started off by one student then suddenly jumped to another and another etc. It was fabulous and we had a hell of a laugh.

That's about school... now family!

I know I haven't posted since Eid, but as you know, my folks are here and we've been going out and about. Our latest was a weekend in London woohoo (well... semi-woohoo, cos I got a cold from the AC on the road *sniff cough* and I'm still stuck with it!)

It was a fabulous trip and I'm glad we went as a whole. Can you imagine, almost 31 years ago, my parents came to London for their honeymoon... heheheee ! well, waddya know!

I bought some cool stuff, I promise to show them off here... LOL jk heehee

Boohoo ... my family are leaving this Thursday... sucks.

But they promised to be back for Eid Uladh'ha.. Inshallah ^_^

mmmmmm... yup, that's it for now y'all!

Till next time ;)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Ramadan... Day 29

Well... well... well

Seems like it's over already, huh?

Today's the last day in Ramadan... I miss it already *sniff*

So, happy Eid to all Muslims around this tiny planet. I pray to Allah that he will accept all your prayers, efforts, supplication and good deeds Inshallah.

The pic at the beginning of this post was dedicated to me from my dear ol' student in Libya (Fadwa).

My folks arrived to Leeds last Tuesday. Boy was it a relief to finally see them. I haven't seen my Mom and big sis since January!! Except via webcam... but that doesn't count to me :P

My Dad was here with me till February, so I haven't seen him for quite a while as well.

I'm so happy I don't get to spend the day of Eid alone... Al7amdulillah ^_^

My heart and prayers go to all people around the world, who are far from their family and loved ones... to those who are imprisoned in the occupied lands of Palestine... the others who suffer from deprivation of any sort... May Allah grant you peace and patience to go through the days.

Salam to all my friends and beloved family and relatives in Libya.

All my love to my dearest, best friend Lila in Switzerland * I miss yooouuuu *

To my dear blog-pals... all respect and appreciation, and heartfelt dedications on this special occassion.

Till next time';)

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Ramadan... Day 22

lol ^_^ oops sorry part of it got cut off

"Do you, Jason, take Karyn to have and to hold, to E-mail and fax, to page and beep, until death do you part?"

Friday, September 11, 2009

Ramadan... Day 21

"When your serenity is through..."

Hello again my good people

The weather was fine today. I had to fax some papers back home so I went out with my brother. I met with Julia later on, and was glad that she wanted to look for an outfit, cos I was particularly aimless as to where I wanted to go.

This part of my sequel focuses on how many of us males or females could be led nowhere on the road to marriage if not directed to the right way. This can be by taking your hand, giving you a word of wisdom... helping by any means. There are times when even the wisest fail to assist others... and that's where the real loss is... and exactly what happened to me once upon a time. I'm glad to have been blessed to share this with others here... lest my experience be of any use to anyone out there.

Note: perhaps this part might not be clear or its morals hidden... but I had no other way of telling it, and this is how it went


Confessing an Experience # Part 2

Year four commenced and I was in a hell of a condition.

There was the fear of going out, the fear of seeing people and them seeing me. It was like: "GASP! Sparkle you look terrible!" etc

I was pale and thin... and felt that every gust of wind would blow me away.
One day, I get a message from my Dad's cousin and she asked me to contact her as soon as possible. I called her...

Her: I know we've never been engaged in serious conversation before, or even know each other well, but I have a question for you.

Me: Ooo-ka-y...

Her: Do you find yourself ready to for marriage?

*crash clunk boing*

Me (after collecting myself): urm...I... ah... I dunno...

Her (barely waiting for my response): Surely you want to know who it is, right?


Her: It's Ahmed (another cousin of my Dad's) and he wants to know what do you think?

We talked a little but a short while later, someone came in and I had to cut it short, telling her that I'd first have to inform my family and see what will happen.


At first, I said that to buy time... coz I didn't know what to answer her, and the only logic response I've grown aware of was: "I need to discuss this with my family first." They say that's how a girl would show her self-esteem. If she gave her response immediately, then she's regarded as 'too obvious' and can't wait to get married! Ok, I don't wanna dwell on that any further.

Moving on...

My mom wasn't at home. She was in our home town which was two hours' drive from the town where we lived, coz my Grandad was very ill... I couldn't tell my Dad, naturally.

Days pass and I inform her. I get no real reaction generally, but I let it slide as I didn't know whether this was going to take place anyway.

A few months pass and we hear nothing of the topic. I try to cope with my health and studies. Days after Eid el Adha, news spread in my home town... my cousins come for a visit and keep asking me: "Is it true Ahmed's asked for your hand?"

I had to deny, coz there still was no official word or even correspondence from him or his family.

Fourth year comes to an end...rumours spreading like fire... and still nothing.

That summer, our phone rings, I answer... it's him. My heart freezes. He asks for my Dad. He's not available. He hangs up... he does not know that it was me... or maybe he knew.

I only saw him twice in my whole life, and I think the same goes for him.

Another day, the phone rings... I answer (yeah, I know, it seems to ring whenever I pass by!) Ahmed's sister asks for me.

Me: Hi it's me.
Her: I'm sure you've been told about this and that... what do you think?
Me (sweating all over): Um... er... oh what can I say.
Her: Listen we didn't want to ask your family coz we wanted to know what you think first. You're the one in question here and your opinion is what we need.


Her: so...?
Me: Listen... I don't think I'm ready for this...(Yeah, that's what I said...)
Her: Meaning...?
Me: I'm still not sure about getting married
(Like say that to your Granma and she'll blow your head off)


At that moment I felt a lot of pressure on me and I didn't know what to do. The phone call ended at that... surely she thought I was some kinda freak to reply like that. I never knew.

When I told Mom, she almost yelled at me. And I was like... Wha..?

Mom: How can you say something like that?

Ok, that's when the story gets confusing. When I first told my family no one gave me their opinion, good or bad. And that's what killed me. I had to have some kinda basis to my decision making... I had none.

Me: Mom, he's Dad's cousin he's supposed to know about him more than I do. What does he think?

Mom: He hardly knows him

(Ahmed's like 20 or 30 years younger than Dad... so that's probably why... or maybe I don't know)

So, whomever I ask and turn to, give me no direct response to my inquiry... It was all so strange... it was like I was asking for the secret of the universe!

One day, his Dad called mine and it was an official call.

Hearts beating... I was informed and asked to think about it. I prayed Istikharah... and decided to go for it, all the time repeating:

اذا كان في الأمر خير لي فقربه مني واذا كان فيه شر لي فبعده عني

Translation: If this matter is for my own good then let it be, if not, keep it away from me

(not totally literal but bears the meaning)

I agreed. Dad called Ahmed and asked him to arrange a time when he could come to our house to meet me face to face and get to know each other. Circumstances fell between him and that and his job had him all busy.

Word spread around my universe. Some said that I had had a family engagement party. Others started planning what to wear for my wedding... lol ... yeah, talk about being hyper!

I spent most of the summer without sleep. One week a cousin of mine came to stay for a few days, her sole ambition was to prep me up for the wedding (the one that still wasn't planned nor even arranged for) She said: "I am here to make sure you eat well. And you need to start hair treatment and stay out of the sun from now on!" And I was like, why did she make me feel hideous!? lol

Dad booked a chalet by the sea and she came along (my cousin). She refused to let me go out in the sun rofl... I told her I wouldn't go there even if I weren't to be wed... I'd immediately faint if I did so, plus I couldn't go swimming wither.. *sniff sniff*

Days passed... my cousin went back to her home... and there was no sign of him.

By the end of the summer, I had been bombarded with phone calls and inquiries about the wedding date... And I was like, there wasn't an engagement in the first place!
I had grown frustrated and my family started to feel manipulated with. And I totally agreed.


1) He didn't want to proceed with it all coz he felt that I was hesitant from the start.

2) His family didn't want to do anything till the rumours die out and they'd manage things discretely.

3) He had someone else in mind... he was somehow forced into this. Others said, she's the one who was messing with his mind.

4) I'm too picky and no one appeals to me.

5) some hated the idea that I marry before my other two sisters (older than me)

I'm sure there was more, but now, I just don't wanna dig them up.

By that time, I had grown indifferent to the case, and decided to let it slide and get on with my life. I had a career to get on with that year... and I dedicated myself to teaching English as a second language.

He never called, and never came. A few months back, I heard that he was engaged to the one I was told he wanted in the first place, but I never heard of any wedding plans... and I couldn't care less.

Case closed.


Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ramadan...Day 20

*Inspired by Questfortherightone and soulseeker

Hello again...

I don't know how I feel these days...

I'm mostly glad because we're in Holy days, and my relationship with Allah is ever so beautiful... Why so sure? Coz I know it is... and that's what I regard as a blessing to know...

And in the midst of what I found myself immersed in the past few days made me ponder, as if I lack the skill to ponder, or as if I haven't had enough already lol

But the thing is, Bloggers seem to be interested in marriage, and what I admire is that they regard it as a quest... highlight to Quest... not just a simple "I Do's" and whatchamacallit... but a real, sincere determination to find the other half.

If you've read my blog (thoroughly speaking) you would obviously know that, same as most of the others I follow around here, I have lived in the west for quite some time... enough to sufficiently clothe my eastern origins with the western mind...with a cherry on top.

* enough to sufficiently..!!?? what the hell was that!!?

Ahem...Moving on...

When I finally came back to my home country, as a full grown teenager, I began to realize my parents' (especially my Mom's) concern about matrimony... perhaps that was the major reason we came back so hastily in the first place... but anyway -_-

If ever there was a time, when I thought I'd be totally going wakco because of this issue... it was when I reached my final year at college.


Confessing an Experience # Part 1

The year before that, (year three) I had worked like hell to gain good... excellent grades! With Allah's blessings, I was top student that year...

Most naturally, there are always consequences...

I fell ill, due to my nervousness and lack of rest... that summer, I had a severe nervous break down. And sadly speaking, in terms of medication, I didn't get the best there was... when I was rushed to hospital in the middle of the night, I vividly remember, though in agony, the blank looks on the doctors faces, which apparently suggested "We have no idea what's with her!"

They gave me tranquilizers ever since... and that was the beginning of my nightmares.

Year 4 started, and I was still on prescription drugs... which there was no neccessity for my taking them... it was like hell... they made me sleep almost all day and I was like a limp goose<< ?? >> ahem... and that wasn't really helpful for my studies. I skipped many classes. And whenever I tried to get up I'd fall back. Going places were horror movies... I feared leaving the house, that I might collapse outside or somebody's house and that wouldn't be a merry scene. Like people were already giving me the looks and questioning my health... How would you feel?

I couldn't go out to the shops, sit with guests for a long time, or even enter a discussion, coz that was a lot of effort.

My family thought I was just being a spoiled baby (reminder: I'm the youngest in the girls) ... I was 21 at that time... who would play such a scheme at that age!!??


Mom insisted that I should be taken to Tunisia, seeing that no medication proved worthy in Libya... (in the meantime all I suffered from was stress... and imagine curing stress with mega stress and medication)So, Honeybun was whisked to Tunisia with her Dad. We stayed for a whole week...during which I lost 5 whole kilograms. I lost my appetite to eat, and only lived on bread and butter for breakfast, and a cup of yoghurt at night... I simply couldn't get myself to eat. And what's worse I cought a cold, coz the weather was cooler there at that time... the beginning of Fall.

One day I fell ill at some friends' house (we knew them ever since we were in Canada and now reside in Tunisia/ now you know why I hate going places? Let alone travelling to another country!!) so they took me to the hospital... it was late at night so no crowd in the emergency room... They put me in a room where the doctor was to see me. I felt terrible.

The doctor came in and sensed the commotion... our friend's wife (I'll call her S )was so worried and Dad and her husband were in the room too... how humiliating -_-" you ain't seen nothing yet.

As I lay there in agony, not knowing what the hell was wrong with me, the Doc came close and leaned over me and said : "Shbeek Honeybun, La bas?" i.e. what seems to be the trouble with you?

The moment he said that... I started crying... T_T... unwillingly... Or maybe I really wanted to... after all that's been going on to me.

Then S approachedand asked the Doc "What's wrong with her?" He backed away and addressed my Dad. "She seems to be bothered by something- wow he's good! *rolling her eyes*- she must have been through a lot of stress."

Dad: "Well, yes. In addition, she's not a very vocal person and doesn't vent all that's inside her...unlike her sisters- oops, confession from my Dad * jk*- and I'm sure life hasn't been the same for her ever since we came back to Libya."

Doc turns to me and says: "Ok, then we'll find her a husband here in Tunisia if she doesn't like Libya."


Dad and the others laughed... yeah, they had to humor him. If my Dad was the narrow minded men, he'd chop his head off hhhhh

So, the joke over... the Doc sent them out for me to rest a bit. He came back like 10 or 15 minutes later. He leaned over as I had my face covered with my arm.

Doc: "Honeybun, are you in love?"

GASP... the nerve of his!

Gulp! I shook my head...

Doc: "Are you engaged?"

Shook my head again.

Doc: "Then I'll find you a Tunisian husband." and he chuckles.

Idiot... I smiled out of politeness... as Mimi said: just smile and nod.

He was silent for a moment then said: "Ok, I'll talk to your father and ask for your hand."

Gaaak! My eyes flung open...what the...? And when I gave him another polite smile, that totally suggested "Thank you, but forget about it." He looked at me seriously and said: "I'm serious. I'll go and sit with your Dad if you'll have me."


I beg of you, pals and gals... what do you make of this?

Honeybun (faintly): "I'm not thinking of marriage now... I'm ill and I still have my final year at school."

Doc: "No, that's no problem. You go back to your country, I'll be there in about six months for the engagement, you graduate and then come with me here. English is highly in demand here at schools so you won't have trouble finding an occupation."

OK...time to breathe in... and out... He totally was thinking ahead... no he actually THOUGHT ahead already! My mind jumped into action.

Honeybun (still maintaining the polite tone): "No, that'll be difficult. We'll be from different backgrounds (trying to find any excuse) and... and I can't leave my family." lol omg I can't believe I said that!

I mean, who was supposed to be soothing who here? I was under the effect of a tranquilizer (oh yeah, they gave me a shot earlier)and at the same time, trying to think in a lucid manner as to how to get away with this...

And as Allah answered my unspoken prayer... the Doc was paged and another emergency case arrived. He looked around then said: "Just think about it." He helped me to my feet as it was time for me to fleeeee.

"Inshallah." Was all I said. Like, in your dreams! Aaaarrggh

And that was the first and last time I ever saw and heard of him...till this very day.

In the car on the way back to the Hotel, S turned to me and said: "Did you hear what the Doc said? He wanted to find you a husband. (she scoffed)"

I smiled and nodded lol and thought "Little do you know, S, that the husband he had in mind was him."

You know, if it were to count... his was the first proposal I ever got in my whole life :P

To be cont...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009



Dearly beloved,

We are gathered today, not to witness a couple getting married, nor to dorky about today's date hhhhh but for something more important :)

Today, I announce the launching of my very own website *sniff choke*


I'm so excited about it :D

It's mainly dedicated to all Arab females who have experienced life on another planet ( per se ) lol other than her home country. We shall all be a part of a united community in cyber space to get together, share experience and do many more.

So, I want to start sending out invitation to the lovely ladies I know here, and hope that in turn they'd pass it on to enlarge the circle.

I'm counting on you girls ;)

See you at the site and I hope it appeals to all

Till next time ;)

Monday, September 7, 2009

Tag!! You're it!! :D

How are you doing y'all? Almost the last third of Ramadan... you doing your best so far? ;) Inshallah He will acceptc your hard work... Ameen

So... now it's tag time nehahaha!!

I was tagged in a forum to post a pic of what I usually carry in my bag :-S hehe
Not too intimidating... don't panic... so here's my cargo to start with

What d'ya think? ;;) hhhhh

1 anti-bacterial gel
2 iPhone
3 tissue
4 Purse
5 lip pencil (and sometimes lip gloss- depends on the weather... or the mood hehehe)
6 bus ticket
7 pen or pencil
8 lip balm
9 hand cream

OK now it's tag time... and I officially tag: iBeeBarbie, Quest, Random Hijabi and Faith

Can't wait to take a peek :P

Till next time ;)

TAG YOU'RE IT!! to everybody else who reads this XD