Saturday, March 27, 2010
When I Know Myself...
...and I'm truly positive of what I want in life.... something which I've been aqcuainted with pretty recently in my life, nothing can cast my sails in a different direction. It's just the path that I've chosen. The decided one. And the one that's final.
I'm talking about love.
When I was a teenager I had a crush on this guy at school. I think I liked him cos he was the only good looking one... in comparison with the others, per se.
It was a small school and I guess that says it all.
And that was my first love... or perhaps that's what I believed.
When you grow older and see things in life, you start looking at it from a different perspective... and I'm here to... to just spill things out rather than just bottle them up. To the new comers who've tuned into my channel, I ain't a vocal type of person, and writing is my biggest relief in the world...so, Thank God for that.
I came across a guy online... and I thought I was ready for it. No, I knew I was ready for it! And I got myself head over heels in a distance relationship.
It was perfect.
And that's what I dearly didn't know for sure about... back then.
Long story short, it had a tragic ending and I had to pull the plug to save myself some respect and dignity.
The gap that followed was almost a year and a half and neither of us knew anything about the other. I had deleted him from my life, and my messenger contact list.
Apparently, he didn't.
It was only a few days ago that he popped out in front of me -not physically- and started asking whether I had a place in me for him.
My answer was strictly no.
I had done my thinking... I had found closure... I have found peace with myself and the life that I'm leading so far... therefore, I said no.
You know, when a guy is simply clueless in life, or in dealing with other people, then he's a straight A loser.
Yes, there are people who find it hard socializing with others and I'm fully aware of that case... but the case in hand here, is that he just never worked on it.
I had given him a second chance before, but another one would be utterly ridiculous!
To be cont...