We're Gonna Party... It's Yo Birthday...!! ^,^ /

Yup

It's my birthday today ^_^

The sun is shining.... 

Trying to stay positive for the next 24 hours or so XP

Big Smiiiiile :D

And there you go!

*
*
*
*
*
*
**

PS?

I'm 28 this year ^/////^

Will share birthday pics soon

Till Next Time

Birthday Girl:

Sparkle xxx

Where Do We Go From Here...?

Decisions, decisions... what to do? where to go? how to dress? and what not!!

A break, please?

Of course not! Like you get to some point in life where things are on Tempo and you wanna relax? << that's basically my inner voice -__-

Me: Like, yeah! I wanna a break to rest and ... ugh! Why isn't it summer now?? Why does my course have to end by the beginning of winterrrrrr!!??

T_T

Puff...

Now that I've finished, the only reason for me to stay here is that I get a hole in the head!! But no, there's not... there's the fact that I gotta start working on getting my PhD grant |:(

Yes!! I would love to!! And thinking about has been keeping me awake for the last few days... You know, the excitement of embarking on some kind of adventure? That's how I feel inside! Regardless of all the hard worrrrrk that's ahead of me -___-" Yet! I haven't felt this way about my Masters... eh?

Maybe.... Just maybe, because I might not do it here in the UK?

No offense to all who's here already... but... I just didn't find myself on these grounds :~( Even if I had... I'm willing to go in search for the different, the new.

So, now, I'm sorta called "LandSeek" lol Just like my fellow friend SoulSeek (check out his page, you'll like it ^_^.... FYI, he hasn't paid me to do this -__-) heehee

My friend Shorty's heading for the States inshallah for her undergraduate level... and as I mentioned before... seems like all that I know is going there :-S ... so why not I? heehee

Now there's the question of, how different is it gonna be from here? Um, the only one I can think of is that of accent XP remember my post about accents? Ugh, that was a nightmare!

I've somehow mastered the taking care of myself part, and knowing how to get myself around a foreign country on my own quite easily, so Inshallah that wouldn't be such a biggy... I hope. If I could just get my mother not to worry about it (yes, from now on!) >_<

Ah well... Those are mere thoughts of a matter that's yet uncertain and in the hands of God.

Today was really cold (Not that I left... yet??) It snowed a teeny bit, and now it''s sunny. We haven't had sun for this long for quite some time :) Good to be back XD


My main focus these days?


To try and read as much as I can... get my hands on.


So there you go. Now I'm reading Ahdaf Soueif's "The Map of Love" :)

So far so good, I guess.



Till next time,



Sparkle xxx

Off The Hook

And yet another day has come...

It's almost 9:30am here... and I'm awake!!

I couldn't go to sleep after Fajir prayers, which was about three hours ago.

There's so much going on (mostly in my head), not that interesting stuff, but it sure is making me tired...

I sometimes think, why can't I just talk about things here? Since I'm already anonymous to the majority in blog-sphere...

Dunno...

Perhaps it's cos of the fear that I'd regret and feel bad about myself blabbering about private issues? Or perhaps I'm scared I'd get busted?

But then again, like it's nothing uber confidential... it's just... well it is to me, okay.

Why am I saying this?

Okay.

Eid went quite well (nothing major happened) I tuned in with my Mom to family in Libya via webcam and watched my dad, sis and bro work their way out with the meat stuff XP so lol!

I even video taped them with my cell phone and sent it to them... *evil laugh*

Wow.

I realized how much I missed home, and can't believe (and wait) till I'm actually there again... though things are yet uncertain... the hope is overwhelming :)

*******************

Yesterday, I finally had my hair cut! Yaaaaaaay! Man I'm so relieved!! T_T Mom came with me too and we sorta had the same trim *heehee* like mother, like daughter...

Quite happy and satisfied with the results :) alhamdulillah

It's amazing how little details can make a drastic change in your life. I've been chatting with my friend Shorty almost everyday recently. She's about to go study in the States, and the idea of her going through what I've been through coming here is indescribable.

Talk about history repeating XP

Plus, I came to realize, that most of my friends now I've known through the internet!! And I haven't seen, like, half of them!! "_" How freaky is that? Should one worry?

But then, why? I mean, it just hits you at some point whether that person is worth hanging on to or not... plus! The chatting online is more like TV to me... you can tune in to it whenever you like, with whomever you desire :)

Isn't technology wonderful?

Oh, and I passed my research project ^_^ I was over the moon!! Alhamdulillah!!

Now...

I'm kinda tempted to resume my PhD...

Crazy!! I know!!! >_< /

I figured that there's no harm in giving it a try... if I do get the opertunity, then I'd be the luckiest,ever.

And I'm content...

Till next time?

Sparkle xxx

Happy Eid!! ^_^

Here's wishing you all a happy and wonderful Eid !!

May Allah accept your deeds... and many more...

Many happy returns...


Till next time,

Sparkle xxx

It's Nothing Personal. It's... Nothing Personal

Surely you've heard of the most famous phrase from The Godfather?

"It's nothing personal. It's business."

It's nothing personal. It's not even business. It's not.

Okay. In matters of love, I don't claim that I'm the best ever... romantic!

ضاقت بيك .... تبقى عايزني اكون حواليك ....ضحكت ليك.... اخلاصي يكون حمل عليك....
في الحالتين لا بنساك ولا عايزه انسى

I mean, what is wrong with me??!

I've been asking Allah for guidance, inspiration... some kind of revelation!! And it just comes across me as the right thing to do. Or perhaps that's what I think it is.

Should I go for it?

Story: I've been asking Allah for something (you guess it people! >_<) and this guy keeps coming across me!!     I know I wanted to be through with him for ages, but he... keeps coming into the picture. HE! Not ME!

Puffffffff!!

Like, I really needed this right now!

Back during my course, he wanted to approach and I sorta kinda scolded him to leave me alone. And to be honest, I really wanted to be left alone. I was up to my ears at Uni and the last thing I wanted was to get involved with him again.... the confusion, the blech!!

*sigh*

Why are guys like this?

And if he's that kinda guy, why do I get to suffer?

Is he, after all this, the right guy for me?

So, after all, the way I'm feeling right now, is nothing personal. It's just not.


Allah grant me guidance. Allah grant me guidance. Allah grant me guidance.

And patience.

Amen...



Till next time,


Sparkle xxx

Round And Round...And Round And Round Again @_@

I've seen better days... Alhamdulillah nevertheless...

Wow!

How can a person see so much grief and strain in life and still be able to tolerate it??

How?

The plain answer is: Allah.

What do we do when we're distressed? We run to Him.

Exactly.

Yesterday, I was on the bus with Mom, and a sort of untimely topic came up. We were looking at the passers-by, and wondered, how many of those actually think of Allah and His effect in their lives?

We assumed not much. I mean, we're in a society that's far from being religious, which led us to think, even back in our Islamic "religious" countries, people are far from considering this aspect in life. Meditating. Thinking of what is, and what's to become.

It made me feel grateful and sad at the same time. Grateful that I'm positively conscious about Allah's blessings on me (though I do falter at times when I feel depressed from life's stresses). Sad because they're so many people...

And round and round we went on the bus...

The importance is to know for real. And send thanks.

Alhamdulillah.

Thank God for good health.

Thank God for family.

Thank God for Islam.

Thank God for good, lovely friends.

Thank God for the awareness... hoping for more.

And thank you dear reader for tuning in :)


Till next time,

Sparkle xxx

Same Ol'.... Same Ol' ... And What To Do About It.

It's always uncertain...


Sometimes I don't know why I get to feel the same. Same old, same old. I'm wondering if I'll ever get over it. Ever!

I took a moment to think where I needed to post this. If it were to go on the Rant-O-Vision, then it would sound more like... a rant! When I kinda feel it's not. In this blog, it's all about my inner feelings. The ones that I want to share in a sorta subtle way (?)

*sigh*

I'm just tired. Exhausted. Can't wait to go home. Home.

Graduation day is in December. Dec 14th. Puffff. More like a century ahead to me. Course's over, and most would love this part. Naturally it's the time where we should relax, have fun, anything! But I'm not going through that phase. And that's why I wanna go... home.


I'm tired of baring responsibility for everything. Having to plan everything. Having to think about everything. Worrying where to go. Making sure no-one gets bored or upset.

Ever thought of a time where you can go to sleep, and say, "If it's over.... let me know."

Yesterday, I talked with my sis back home. I told her that I can't wait to go home and set myself free.

You might be thinking, "Okay, this girl's being a brat, not able to take care of things in life."

Before I comment on that.... Doesn't everyone like to feel that way?

I'm actually not. I don't bend under the first wind that blows at me. I start to lean when the wind becomes a storm and no-one's by my side to shield me. Allah's with me. Yes. But He's put me in such conditions to see me. How I'll do. Isn't that enough to go by? Doesn't that empower enough?

Sure does.

It's important that we get reassurance, though hard on a daily basis, but good from time to time....every now and then. I find myself looking for it. Not waiting for it to come to me. I keep reminding myself of happy things. The people I love and love me back.

And I feel blessed.

But that's life.


And those are its thorns...


And we should never bend. The only reason to do so, is a result of loneliness...


And I'm not alone.



Sparkle ...

A Moment to Exhale...

What's the best way to start a post?

It's like the same question that pops into one's head when starting to write a piece of composition. Where to start. What to write.

With me, now, it's how to write it. The feelings. The desires. The dreams. What make me go on from day to day. Sometimes I feel that the course I've studied didn't do me any favors. When I write something, I get the constant critiquing pins inside me that don't allow me to use clichés... I mean, come on, it's not like my stuff is getting published or anything! But that's what you get when you learn about something for real... the right way.

But I'm thankful nevertheless. Alhamdulillah.

So, how to deal with this situation?

Bleh... -___-" 

Now, what I really want... is a moment to exhale. To find me again. I have no moment alone. Or maybe I'm not allowing myself such moments.

I need to do stuff again... 

Maybe if I take care of myself once again, maybe then... I'll feel better again.

Perhaps I'm feeling this way cos I just finished my course when I was so immersed in it? And now I'm scared of emptiness... of not being busy? of thinking?

I'm basically not the negative thinking person... I guess I'm in constant fear of the outside world affecting me. Of going back to that point in time, the darkness and loneliness.

*sigh*

It's not the winter blues. I don't get them. I like winter... ooops I'm contradicting myself now lol

I think I mentioned before that I changed my mind about winter... that from now on I'm a summer person. ^//////^

Oh, I dunno...

I just vowed to keep myself busy ever since the dark days... those dark days...

May Allah help me and grant me assistance from whoever... a helping hand can take you a looooong way.

And I'm grateful...

Till next time,

Sparkle xxx

Things We Might Be Missing

Ah, well.

Ever thought when you find yourself saying that?

It's what I call "The Instant Relief Phrase". Like when you say things that you don't totally believe in or you're not quite sure of, but once you say it... it gives you instant reassurance. That whatever happened is not worth the worry and anxiety, or whatever's to come is for the better... you'll see.

Make any sense?

Today I got up early -___-" to go swimming. I took Mom with me. It was her first time here. Man the pool was crowded! There only one other Muslimah there.

*sigh* You know, it was only when I came here to the UK that I truly felt the importance of exercising. Probably because when I'm at home here, I can reach my destination in less than a step lol :P

The flat I'm in right now is approximately the size of our kitchen in Libya. In other words, our house is about five to ten times bigger than my flat :( in other, other words lol, there's not much moving around unless I'm at Uni running from one lecture to another or from one shop to the other heehee.

So, yeah. I miss our house. There's always a vacant place for you to be at on your own *sigh* 

Around 3 pm, I met with Julia. The weather was mild and cloudy... so lovely. We walked a bit then sat in a cafe to feed Daniella ^_^ Wow! She gave us a hard time lol she's 7 months now and we started putting her in those high chairs for children. She's so funny. Well, we were!! It's like I was holding her hands away and Julia would try to feed her without causing any mess. XP Then she had her bottle and fell asleep...*phew*

Poor Julia. I've been going through this stuff with her ever since baby D was born... yet it's so much fun! Dancing with her, singing to her, buying her stuff (ever so tempting!!)

I keep thinking at times, especially when Julia and I get exhausted, whether I can keep up with that ... for my own sake XD lol

Okay, I'm starting to say things!!

So, till next time,

Sparkle xxx

Fat and Furious: The Issue of Weight... Gaining?!

Puhhh!

Not the perfect weather, but, still tolerable. Drizzle, clouds, a bit cold. And I went shopping.

A few days back (it's not the first time, but it just gave me momentum  to talk about it here) I was at the shops with mom looking through some slacks. I never had purple ones before and I liked the ones in front of me. I managed to get into a size 10 perfectly ^_^ but then came the inevitable... mom said, "Don't you wanna get fatter?"

-__-"

It's like my sisters being rephrased. They would often say to me, "What if you get fat?" , "You might get fat and those won't fit you anymore."

Grrrrrr!

So I need to tell them... my point of view. "Why not say, 'I'm happy with my size and I'm willing to maintain it'?" Of course they would think it impossible. I don't. Once you've put your mind to it. I've been approximately the same size (10 upper-body, 12 lower - the purple pants were an exception... could be the design?)

And life's always got a better side. I keep insisting that the more you keep dressing yourself in larger sizes the more likely you're gonna gain weight.

When mom was here by the end of Ramadan, it had been almost a year since we last saw each other. And she was like, "You don't look good to me. Why aren't you eating?"

-_____-" : Mom, I'm fine and this is my body...

And she gives me the look.

Ah well.

So, all in all, I'm quite pleased that I managed to keep to what I have in mind. I don't follow a specific diet, it's just the "don't eat more than you need" type of thing. Period.

Till next time,


Sparkle xxx

ادم - اغنية فيك الخير (فيديو كليب) | اكتشف الموسيقى في موالي

A song I felt like listening to...

ادم - اغنية فيك الخير (فيديو كليب) | اكتشف الموسيقى في موالي

Another Day... Another Chance for a Better Experience...

Now that I realized, it's been a little over a month since my last blog. The question is, why can't I devise a strategy to maintain a frequent one?

The past few days, I had millions of ideas and stuff to talk about here that could set a record in blog-sphere (if that's a word!)

I am simply like this painting above...like, four moods in a day, and perhaps more. I have no time for myself, and therefore, I feel kinda lost.

My folks were here by the last ten days of Ramadan. It was so hard trying to cope with finishing my thesis (which I proudly announce that I've finished... ahem) and with being with my loved ones during Ramadan. I had to hand in my project on the fourth day of Eid. Two days later, we set off on a trip that included London and Bournemouth.

It's always a thrill to visit London! The weather was great, and we had a nice time together (we risked the adventure of using the underground this time lol) Then we went to Bournemouth. ^_^ my folks spent their honeymoon there nearly 33 years ago. Wow! It's great to get to visit your honeymoon location... I don't know about having the kids present though lol.

So, yeah. It was our (the kids) first time there and we got to see the seaside *sigh* it's been a long time since I saw one. Last time was in Libya of course. Maybe 2007?

Bournemouth Pier 2010

Pretty Lil' Feet ^.^
Dipping in the Atlantic Ocean!!!

*Sigh* What a masterpiece...
^^ That's my sis btw who's holding her shoes ^.^

Hotel room/ Bournemouth
Simply gorgeous and authentic.

I <3 the tiny desssssk!! XD

Our trip was a success, but I still feel tired owing to the lack of sleep and endless walking -__-

My Mom's here to stay till the end of my journey here in the UK, which ends somewhere by January. Last Tuesday was heart wrenching. My other half of my family went home (school, work) T_T

Ah, well.

Two of my cyber friends are in the US right now. I can believe we're like 4 or 5 hours apart T_T. The cute thing is that both of them are in medicine, and both are two of my coolest friends on facebook!!

I really wish I could see my friends one day... SOON!! :( I have a lot to talk about... I need to talk about. And this only requires a friend indeed.


Till next time guys,


Sparkle xxx

Stop. Drop... And Stay As You Are?

Never!

*ahem*


Hello again!

You know something? It seems like time has started going fast forward...eerily! I mean, it was just last Thursday that I met Garry, and today I met him again for my before last tutorial with him. @_@

Today we discussed some oints that I'm going to be working on by next Tuesday, let alone my critical essay -__-" The good thing was that his comments weren't negative. No. He actually wanted me to expand.

I've used some verse from the Qur'an as reference to the marriage issue, how it is not allowed between Muslims and non-Muslims. He said that he wanted an essay, not a sermon... he had a point. I guess I somehow got carried away >////<

He says I need to explore my approach in the creative writing aspect of my project, indicating my message through my main character who is a young Muslim woman.

Ah well.

There's so much to be done. The thing is, to get it done. I've only got less than three weeks for submission. May Allah aid me in doing so.

Last week, I learned a new prayer from a Libyan friend of mine here.

اللهم بارك لي في وقتي

Translation: O' Allah, let me make good use of my time.

It's not a literal translation, but its got the general meaning.

I've been up to a lot of work lately, at Uni, and at home. I somehow resorted to Wednesday as cleaning day of the week. I'd dust, mop and clean the WC. ^_^

But yesterday's work really got me tired and ending up with a backache T_T

Moving on! \(>o<)/

As I said previously, I'm thinking of starting another blog. Well, not just one. Two!

Heehee

The voice inside me says, "You're not even coping with this one, you're starting two others?!"

"Yes!" Says I (feel free to think that I've flipped out), "Variety is good! Change is good!"

I can't wait to get myself out there, in the world! Thee world of non-students! << 'Thee' was a typo, but I guess it served the purpose hhhhhh

*sigh*

I'm thinking of taking up a language course. ITALIAN! Mamma mia!

Yup. Wow! I feel a sudden rush of optimism, that my neck hurts...

So, I'll be back with s'more... just stay tuned... my humble followers of 10 ^_^


Till next time,


Sparkle xxx

The: What? Where? When? 7allah ...

OoooOOookaaAAaaaay...

So, it's been almost 12 days since the beginning of Ramadan... and it was only two or three days ago that I've made the discovery of my life.

Don't worry, I'm not adopted! hhhhhhh (no offense here)

I've had the praryers' timetable printed out for the whole year 2010, and according to it, Fajr praryer was around 3 a.m. this month.

It was till I checked the grand mosque's website that it was totally different...changed??!! @_@ That instead of 3 a.m. it was 4:30 a.m.

-____-"







Yeah, yeah, yeeeeaaaah... urgh!

I've been fasting for like 18 hours when it shoulda been, 16 or so.

mmmmmmm

Anyway.

We've had very nice weather... warm relatively, and then rain rain rain, especially in the late afternoon. *sigh* Reminds me of summers in Switzerland. Whenever the temperature exeeded 30, it had to rain at night... heavily! ^_^ love it!

***********************

Last week, I told you I was gonna meet with Garry. And I did on Thursday.

Bleeh!

In addition to two typos in the whole script (-___-" sheesh!) he gave my script an extreme "feedback"-over... as in, comments and notes everywhere.

Note to every fellow reader: I totally have no problem with notes, criticism, or whatever on my work :)

The thing is, the thing that reeeeaaally p***ed me off, was that he commented on stuff already there for like, ages! and this is when he decided to notify me about them...

Grrrrrr!

Is this where I have to hate him?

Deadline's due on Sept 13th, and here I am gaping at my script... not knowing what to do with it...

That's where all the WHs came to mind...

T~T

Now I not only need to re-edit my script, but also start with my freakin' critical essay...

GASP! Which reminds me! How many words should it be??!! o_O

Puff. It's not there!

I hate my university email.

***********

Moving on.

My brother's been on a serious retail therapy. And the thing that I've noticed? I get to feel better when he's shopping. Even though I'm not buying anything.

ROFL

Man, we're so weird hhhhhhhh

************

Okay. Calling all girls.

I'm sure you're tuning into at least one or two of Ramadan's series on TV/internet.

My sister in Libya (let's call her Deedee ^_^) told me about an egyptian soap opera called:

عايزه اتجوز

Translated: I want to get married.

Hmmmm.

Like, I thought I had enough of that topic so far. But when I checked it out on mbc.net, I changed my mind. It's totally hillarious! >_<

It's about a single egyptian woman in her late 20s early 30s, striving to get married in a time when a decent groom is a hard catch... -__-"

Today, Deedee sent me a link of the writer's blog, on which the series is based.

WOW!

Her name's Ghada Abdelaal, and her blog carries the same name as the series. Like, Da! lol

And here's the link if you're interested. I skimmed through it, and believe me, you're in for loads of fun! Her style is both light and entertaining.

http://wanna-b-a-bride.blogspot.com/


***************

I need to rap up now. But before I go, I think you deserve to know what's going through my mind.

Nyahahaha3!

I'm thinking about starting a rant. Yes. A R-A-N-T. Like, I got so much on my head, shoulders, back...everywhere. (Heart included ^////^)

And I really need to get myself to write more. And since, to me, this seems like the easiest, most private (who am I kidding?) means to do so... then so be it.

Be back for more... B-D


Love out and about to everyone!

Till next time!


Sparkle xxx

Okay...um... Salamu Alaikum

Ahe Ahe heehee -___-"

^ That was something you'd very likely hear from Maroco (ماروكو؟)

I've been lazy enough to add an entry around here...bleh!

Lazy? Or busy?

Yes, busy's the word... I've been working like mad on my research project. The one I've been blabbering about for some time here.

On my last tutorial with my supervisor (did I mention his name's Garry?) Anyway, he said all was fine...yadda yadda... but it was getting too long, outta hand -__-

As a writer, you need to get into grips to not allow yourself to over-write. But, you know, in my case, I like to over-write... coz that always makes it easy to cut cut cut!! (Schnitzen in German... right) heehee

However, since I'm a very obedient student (.....) I did as I was told and cut out a huge amount of scenes from my script @_@ It's not so bad, you know. You get to realize that some stuff don't actually belong there in the first place... you know the voice inside that says: "Cut the crap, will ya?"

Yeah, that kinda thing.

Following my last blog entry, I solemnly inform you that I stuck to exercizing... for like 2 weeks or so... -__-" ahe ahe aheehee

I got busy!! Gimme a break!! T_T *sniff sniff*

But not to worry (tadaaa!) I just discovered recently - like, two months ago >///<- that a new sports center was opened on campus. There's this cool swimming pool that I drool at whenever I pass by it. I went to the center's website and it shows the pool's timetable and stuff. There are two hours for women only: one on Tuesday morning, the other on Friday night.

I got hyper when I learned about this... but then, there's the part where the pool is see-through... how's that ever gonna work? Bum-er...

Until last week when my brother came for a visit from Libya, it all turned around. (he's staying till after Ramadan btw ^_^) Just to make sure he never got bored whilst I busy myself with finishing my research, I took him to the center so he could go for a swim whenever he wanted. He's 16, and I'm sorta kinda overprotective of him ^_^... so I asked the lady at the front desk if I could chaperon him inside (I actually wanted to see what it was like inside- as in, the changing rooms and showers... safety measures- over and out).

It was all A-Okay :) and what's more, I turned and saw the lady catching up with me to say: "There are hours for women on (ditto above) and the blinds are lowered to cover the windows."

Oooooooh praise the Lord!! *sniff sniff* It was like she threw a life-buoy at me... I was saved!!

Ahem, exaggeration...

So, last Monday, I went with my friend Julia to buy a swimsuit. I got one from JJB (a sports shop) for only 12.99 pounds ^_^ , black, and Addidas XD

Of course I wore black tights under it and a tight black vest as well. And I went yesterday ^_^ *sigh*

Can you imagine? The last time I went swimming was in 2007, when I went with my folks to a summer resort in Libya T_T loooong time.

I feel rejuvenated, and happy that I get to stay in ship-shop shape XP woohoo!

So, now it's not just the walking. It's the walking and swimming B-D heehee

Now, back to work.

I'm almost finished with my third act. Garry says that I'll only be able to submit a minimum of 60 pages of the script T___T gaaaa!! but I need to finish it nevertheless just to get a better sense of the whole story. *sigh* After which I need to start working on my critical essay (which I'm sure I've mentioned something about in an earlier post here -__-)

It should have a topic, says he. Then he suggested I write about the impact of the western world on Muslim women...the singles, that is.

And I was like, "Okay... I think I can do that..."

^_^

Well, it's off to work for me now. Loved coming back !!

Happy Ramadan and may you all be well and happy! Maybe I'll get to do what I did last year on my blog. Like a day to day entry of how it's going for me during the holy month.

Will leave it to God's will :)

Salamz


Till next time,


Sparkle xxx

PS: I solemnly cut down on the fries !! ^_^ yippeee!

Ship.. Shop.. Shape!! @_@

Is it 'ship shop' or 'chip chop'?

I can explain that though.

Ship: coz I'm thinking of travelling!!

Shop: well, ya know >///<

And Shape: I gotta get into shape again.

***********************************


Ahem, anyway..


Well, hello again... :)

So today I stayed at home... and proudly did nothing on my project. I've noticed lately that it's been a long while since I last worked out -__-" Maybe two or three weeks ago??

I hate myself!!

Coz last week, as I mentioned, was terribly outta control and I hardly had time to cook something to eat... so I had to eat take outs or have these ready meals that you heat in the oven... piece of cake, huh?

Yeah... and when you're England, whatever it is you're having, it's gotta come along with fries.... *danger music in bg*

*sigh*

I was about to opt out of writing about this, but I had to... have to! I even drew this silly scetch of a person on my timetable who's working out and having a hard time with it. This, my dear friends, is what I call: self motivation.

How?

Everytime I'm gonna see it, I'll be reminded of what I've gained lately and what a lazy beans bag I've become...

So, the plan?

- Work out everyday except weekends :D heehee

- Cut down on the freakin' fries!! > x <

- Make sure I stick to it for the coming month

Period.

*sniff sniff* I hate to think... I just hate to think!! I don't wanna go back to what I used to be.

I wasn't obese, but I was ...rounded (?) And it made a lot of people throw comments at me... I'm sure you know the rest.

So, there you go. It's like a New Year's resolution, except this one's for the summer lol ^_^

I'll let you in on this... for motivations sake!!!

If you got any experience or stories, do share :)

Till next time xxx

Don't feel like it...

Hello again ^_^

Very-hot-weekend. Period.

Yesterday, I had a tutorial with my research project supervisor,Garry. Since I've worked mainly on my script treatment for like... ahundred times! He said that now's the timeI needed to start with the writing. I told him, "About time!I feel like I don't wanna work on it anymore!!" rofl

I still need to work on a few details in my story line, but I'm sure it'll all clear out once the actual writing has taken place.

Here I am now at Uni... wanting to get started :D ... But, I suddenly don't feel like it... the working part. I guess I'll give myself some more time (?) and do some reading while I get my drive back and kicking -__-"

Baaaaaah!! Where's my inpiration gone!! *sniff sniff*

...


......

Yaaaaaaaaaaaawn! \(> o <)/

Heehee cute one, huh? I learned that my Taiwanese colleague on facebook ^_^ It's just similar to it though -__-

I need to finish Act I in three weeks time before my next tutorial.

And to those who don't know what an Act is, lemme brag a bit then hoohoohoo

Every story has a beginning, middle and end to it. Those three parts are referred to as acts in plays and film scripts, and the usual number is three: Act I, Act II, and Act III.

In Act I of a film script (which is my case here) is where the main characters, the setting of the film and the genre need to be introduced. In Act II, is where the major drama and conflicts occur. And in Act III, we see the solution to these conflicts.

So, in other words:

Act I: The Beginning = Set Up

Act II: The Middle = The Confrontation

Act III: The End = The Resolution

Every story has to have a plot, without which it doesn't move forward. In a script, there are two major plot points. The first is at the end of Act I; the second (the climax) takes place at the end of Act II. These points are the twists in the story that cause the obstacles that make it difficult for the main character to get to his goal easily.

The standard length of a film script is basically 120 pages,each page equals one minute of film...so, ultimately, that's what makes a 2hrs movie ^_^

Some movies are longer, and great examples of that are 'Gone With The Wind' and 'Titanic'... it just takes ages @_@

Now, let's try and put those basics to practice, and take a simpler example to demonstrate :D

Since I'm a huge fan of 'You've Got Mail' then I'll just use that ^_^

Catheline Kelly owns a small bookshop in New York and she thinks she's happy in love with her boyfriend/journalist, Frank. Moreover, she's online with somebody else. Joe Fox is a successful businessman who wants to expand his family empire by opening a mega bookstore, and happens to be that 'somebody else'.

Now this is the set up of Act I. We get to know the main characters, what they do and what are their main goals.

Plot Point #1 / The beginning of Act II

Joe Fox opens his bookstore right opposite Catheline's tiny shop. This causes the first twist in the story. Competition, Rivalry. Now we want to know more and how Catheline's going to react to this.

Plot Point #2 / The Beginning of Act III

Catheline seeks the help of Joe online without knowing who he really is. They arrange to meet, but when Joe sees who she is, he doesn't show up. Second twist. Catheline fights to save her shop from going under, while Joe's shop takes over. The confrontation. But at the same time, they establish a love relationship online and he gives her tips on how to deal with 'Joe Fox' (himself). hehee

The final part, (Resolution), Catheline's business shuts down and she's in deep grief. She hates Joe Fox for that, but is in love with him at the same time. Joe feels bad about himself and tries to win her over as his real self. They arrange to meet again, and she discovers the whole truth.

The End :)

Wow! And I thought I felt like doing nothing today!! heehee

Hope that was useful and interesting to you guys!

Till next time...

Love is Just Around The Corner...Any Cozy Little Corner...

Ever heard that song? Frankie? ^_^ so cute!

Anyway... man it was a hot week! *poof*

I was very busy at uni most of last week to hand in my short story and critical commentary yesterday. Glad that's off my shoulders...

So, now I gotta focus on my research project... and ugh it's so hot to do anything *sniff sniff* it's even hot to be on my laptop right now typing!! It actually shut down all of a sudden earlier due to heat.., poor baby... now I'm fanning it with an envelope from time to time...

Yeah, I spoil my devices >/////< so sue me!! lol

wait lemme fan it some more...



......



Okay!


Oh! I bought a netbook a couple of weeks ago ^_^ wow! I'm loving it!! It's 11" and definitely a blessing to have especially when you're the type who can't stay put in one place... heehee..... I dunno what got into me lately (???)

Wednesday night, out of the blue... well, not really... but it just happened that I was going to sleep and said my athkar ... and added a prayer... my usual prayer, perhaps, for a good husband :)

That night, I had a dream.

I dreamt that I was with my husband... and he was good n_n

The funny thing was, he came in two versions. As in, once he was one guy, and the other he was somebody else. And they were both soooo in love with me...

Gaaak!! Why am I talking about this >///<

Okay... I know both guys... both are Arabs but from different countries. The first was my colleague whom I hardly talked to, the other was my student.


lol don't worry he was a language student and older than me... the bummer here is that he's married -__-"

Blaaaah!!

So, that was it... don't ask for details ... they're rather sloppy :-S
But I woke up feeling good. Even when I went to uni and saw this girl who hasn't been very nice to me lately sitting in a corner... I made sure I went the other way... coz I was in a good mood... and if I came across her, she'd probably zing me >:(

Grrrrrr!!

PEOPLE!!!


Guys... thanks for reading ... and thanks to those who've chosen to follow my blog ^_^ v Hope you find it both enlightening and entertaining!


Till next time...

P.S. I Hate You!!

Grrrrrrr!!


Sniff sniff T_T

Why meeeeee? why meeeee?

Ok.

A week ago, I heard bad news. I went online with my sister in Libya and she told me that my brother had had an accident at school. @_@ Gasp! Shock!

He appeared on webcam... oh my dear God... he had a serious cut on the eyelid of his left eye -_= He had fallen on the edge of a set of lockers outside his class and WHAM! it split in two....ugh!

He was taken to hospital later on and got his eye stitched (is that how they say it?) and now he's fine thank God... -__-" it was a major scare for the whole family. My Dad wasn't present through all this... he was in Tripoli (work) and he was so enraged.

Yup. Just wanted to let you know why I wasn't around recently. Yeah... like I'm a regular in the first place!! >///<

Anyhoo

P.S. I Hate You...

Sounds good for a story title, eh?

But this is real life, and it's what I really wanna tell someone. Do consider the "P.S." thingy... like, being angry in a polite way lol

I wish I could say this to Julia's husband... he's totally getting on my nerves *Grrrr* Two months and the baby's still with no name, till Julia finally gave up and told him to choose whatever. She wanted Daniela.. he wanted Adriana...

I mean, Adriana? Puh-lease! Sounds more like a name from a history book.

That's not the real point. He's been saying no to all the name she's come up with (in addition to my suggestions) and he's like: "Nah, it reminds me of someone..." "Nope, my ex-wife's cousin's daughter is called that and she got pregnant at 19..."

Seriously?

I could slap him! *smack smack*

Eventually, and after getting on our nerve like Hell, they finally registered her as "Daniela" woohoo!

Yeah, right. He still doesn't like the name and doesn't called the baby with it, still calling her "Little". And the other day he said to Julia that he only did it coz he didn't want to make feel more depressed... i.e. accusing her of postpartum depression??

*Sigh*

It makes me really sad whenever she tells me, "Enjoy your singlehood as much as you can!"

I know not all guys are jerks... but how come all that I come across are like so?

God with us all...


Till Next Time fellas!!

The Quest To Know ...

I've come to a realization that the best way for me to deal with this...him! is by giving him a taste of his own medicine. How? The "I'm Busy" technique... which I basically am as of recent -__-

I haven't appeared online to him since Friday, and I plan to seize fire till later this week.

This might not be the best approach, but I figured that I got nothing to lose in the end. I am my own self once again and I'm thankfull. Nothing would take that away from me again, at least not with my trying hard.

Will keep you tuned in if you do :)

Till next time


Sparkle xxx

When I Know Myself...

...and I'm truly positive of what I want in life.... something which I've been aqcuainted with pretty recently in my life, nothing can cast my sails in a different direction. It's just the path that I've chosen. The decided one. And the one that's final.

I'm talking about love.


When I was a teenager I had a crush on this guy at school. I think I liked him cos he was the only good looking one... in comparison with the others, per se.

It was a small school and I guess that says it all.

And that was my first love... or perhaps that's what I believed.

When you grow older and see things in life, you start looking at it from a different perspective... and I'm here to... to just spill things out rather than just bottle them up. To the new comers who've tuned into my channel, I ain't a vocal type of person, and writing is my biggest relief in the world...so, Thank God for that.

I came across a guy online... and I thought I was ready for it. No, I knew I was ready for it! And I got myself head over heels in a distance relationship.

It was perfect.

And that's what I dearly didn't know for sure about... back then.

Long story short, it had a tragic ending and I had to pull the plug to save myself some respect and dignity.

The gap that followed was almost a year and a half and neither of us knew anything about the other. I had deleted him from my life, and my messenger contact list.

Apparently, he didn't.

It was only a few days ago that he popped out in front of me -not physically- and started asking whether I had a place in me for him.

My answer was strictly no.

I had done my thinking... I had found closure... I have found peace with myself and the life that I'm leading so far... therefore, I said no.

You know, when a guy is simply clueless in life, or in dealing with other people, then he's a straight A loser.

Yes, there are people who find it hard socializing with others and I'm fully aware of that case... but the case in hand here, is that he just never worked on it.

I had given him a second chance before, but another one would be utterly ridiculous!

To be cont...

When A New Day Taps You On The Shoulder

Hello again...

Wouldn't it be nice if all you got your friends to read your blog... for the sake of getting feedback... a reflection.... an echo... a reaction... so that you know you're not talking to the wall...

Okay...what was that?!


Like, if my friends read mine, I'd be burying my face like an ostrich >///< lol

Anyway - -"

So, I'm proud to say that I've passed my first semester modules..yeehhaaaa! Go Sparkle get busy!! get busy! :D

Brakers!

There's still loads to work on this semester and it sure ain't over yet. o_O
I'm glad that my individual project is going well... Can you believe it? I'm working with Adam as my supervisor!! @_@ what are the odds? and what's more... my working title is "Adam's Apple"

ROFL

But to be honest, he's been great so far... which made me conclude that he's great as a personal tutor, not as a lecturer *yak yak*

It's a 4000 words' short story. A romance comedy based in present day Libya. Isn't that exciting? ^_^

The weather these days is not bad... sure it's raining, but that fine with me :) and it's the easter holidays... so yaay!!

Excuse me if I'm making no sense... I guess it's just a simple warm up to get me blabbering once again.

I know... I haven't said anything about Comedislam. It was a blast! I loved it big time :) I think the hall was full booked and there were people standing! It was good for a change, really, and I made some new friends ^_^

Last week I had two presentations, the first was in small groups to discuss my research project plan... (like that makes sense 9_9) the other was a poster presentation... yeah, I know... one of my colleagues was like: "How the Hell am I gonna get that done?"
And I was like: "James, think 6th grade!"

ROFL

And that's how it was. We all got ridiculously creative with our lousy posters... good thing we weren't assessed for that -__-" *phew*


What else?? what else??

Ooooooh! My friend Julia gave birth to a baby girl!! woohoo!! she over a month old now... and she ain't got no name yet !! lol

My sister in Libya called her "Button" when she saw her pics... and that's what we're calling her temporarily hhhhhhhh :P

What else?? what else??

Yes! My friend in Switzerland is coming to visit woohoo! She's coming via train B-D lucky her... but lucky me too ^_^ I get to see her! heehee sadly she'll only be staying for 3 days....3 DAYS!!

And I haven't seen her for like 10 YEARS!! *sniff sniff*

Ok, I cheated and saw her on webcam >////<


This is it... sorry for being silly today... I don't know what got into me... I'm hyper and typing like a maniac!! * GRRR*

So, this is from me...

Till next time!


Sparkle xxx

One fine day...

Hello all!!

I am happy to say that, at this very minute, despite how I might feel in the very following minute, I am pleased and happy... Alhamdulillah... why? Well, basically, for no good reason... no reason at all ^_^

It's Islamic Week here at Uni, and the Uni's Islamic Society have built a tent right in front of the library for their Islamic exhibition :)

I've been there yesterday and today. Yesterday to have a look... today, to buy a ticket for tonight's show "Comedislam" It's supposed to be funny and easy going, so I thought I might give it a go. There are a lot of nice Muslim girls whom I've met previously at The Green Room (where we pray and relax) ... You can't imagine how lovely it is whenever we meet on campus... smiles, salams and hugs... just beautiful!!

Yesterday, I had my first tutorial with my Individual Project supervisor...guess who?




Yeah...




Adam -__-

But it wasn't bad... it went well and smoothly. Gladly, he was interested in my proposal... so there's my cue... to start with the writing.

It's a short story. And you know what's ironic about it? It's called "Adam's Apple"

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I wonder if he's pleased about that???


Well, I gotta run now, the show starts in two hours. Will be back Inshallah to tell you about it :D So stayed tuned ^_^y


Till then


Sparkle xxx

Finding Motivation...

The question is: where do you find your motivation? Or how does it come to you? Do you feel it? Have you noticed a specific time to it?

Oddly enough, I get my inspiration at the weirdest of time, and most certainly the most inconvenient... when I go to sleep!!

-__-" Yeah...

And how am I supposed to get up and jot down my ideas in the middle of the night?!! Last night, I decided to buy those pens that have a tiny lamp (light?) attached to them so you can write in the dark. I wonder where they sell them here? and will it really solve my problem. Now the thing is, I can always reach for my Cell phone and insert my brilliance on its note pad... am I that lazy?

OMG...I've got the English bug!! (danger music in BG)

Well, they are lazy people, and I've noticed that on more than one occassion... *sigh*

Don't wanna dwell into that...

I'm at Uni now... near the café, and there's this girl having lunch (slurping her soup) interesting...

So anyway... back to motivation... *slap slap*

Another thing I've noticed is that I get a whole load of motivation from movies. My sister told me about one of her colleagues who keeps telling them that if you're stressed, go watch a movie...

Okay, what if it's in the middle of the night? How cool would that be if I went to the cinema... *ghost booing, wind whistling, wolf howling*

*slap slap slap*

I was supposed to be here to get inspired and start writing... aparently I'm not... but I guess it's fine, because, as opposed to my sister's colleague, I get to vent out my stress into writing a whole lot of Himmagajib (nonesense).

So, when I watch a deeply stimulating movie (which usually happens to be late at night... i.e. before midnight :D ) and I'm so driven I can fly to the moon... but it's late at night... and I'm hyper... and I'll get tired soon... and wake up with a headache in the morning.

Dear readers, I am positive you'll go away feeling motivated after you read this... lol

In order to write in an agreeable manner, whatever the genre, you need to read as much as you can in order to achieve that... but there isn't time. Or is there?

Hmmm... time management.

Yes. Facebook, Youtube, Messenger...etc. How can you possibly manage your time when you're already addicted to this stuff?

*sigh*


There was a time, when I had to force myself into shutting down my laptop. Of course, I'd find myself staring at the ceiling... or trying so hard to figure out what to do- away from cyber space!!

I got books stacked, DVDs... files and paper work *looks away quickly* Grrrrr!

Priority check ASAP!!

Somewhere within the next couple of weeks I'll meeting with a deligated supervisor (whom I don't know till now) to start discussing my final research project, you know, the one I told you about once?

And bum-er... -__-" we have to make a presentation of our project idea to the others... as in, in front of everyone in the class. It's not that I can't do it... it's just that... I dunno, when you're not really familiar with your audience, and...
Okay to tell the truth, they just don't seem to "seem" interested in ohter people's work. Which is odd, cos this is the whole idea of doing it together... as in, to give final feedback and so on. But they just don't.

Even if they do, you feel like it's more of an empty praise. The worst part is when you feel like your work is not good enough to begin with... Sheesh!!

I think I goota go now... and do something worthwhile- for my studies :D- so no offense.


Till next time


;)

When You Need Something...

...except you're not quite sure what it is... can lead you to a harsh state of mind.

So, you've grown up, all the foolishness cast aside, maturity easing its way into your life... and you find yourself saying: "This is is! This is the time of my life when I can solve everything on my own, and nothing should worry me."

Yes. As a grown up, you do get priveliges that many youngsters do not possess... and mainly it's the fact that you get to decide for your own...

Does everything depend on your final decision? Is that what pushes our lives forward?

I don't know if I'm making any sense so far... I have nothing in mind to talk about... but I'll just ramble on and see where I get to... as usual.

***************

Ever listened to a song lately... and started crying... just like that?

It's been happening to me now for like, the past two years...and by songs I mean the sad, slow romantic ones.

I've come to realize that this would happen to you mainly because you miss someone... even if that someone hurt you... you just miss him.

Once you've been together almost all the time, and once you were used to him being in your life... yeah, it's true when they say love hurts.

You're never careful enough, and you're never the wiser... it just hits you. And it's hit me once upon a time for real three years ago... throwing me off my feet to the highest clouds, and I thought- actually I didn't- I'd never find the ground. I just wanted to be up there. To stay there.

I didn't see the ground... it was all white and fluffy I barely saw my feet.

Till I suddenly collided with the harsh reality of earth... life.
It had barely been a year.

And when you're hurt... that's when you know what a fool you've been. Stupid. At this time of age... how could you allow this to happen to you? How could you let someone hurt you? How could you give them access to doing that?!!

But you realize that these things happen.. no matter how careful and precautious you've been... c'est la vie, n'est pas?

I can't forget...although I'm out of love... I just can't.

You know when you've given your all to something? That's how it was... and it was aparently undeserving...

I hate the fact that I feel alone, and I'm trying my best to fill my life with people who care about me.. busy myself. But I found out that I was trying hard that it's making me tired.

As I said before... there's nothing wrong in allowing yourself to be sad from time to time... you can get over something without letting go of it ... in it's own timing. Sometimes you just can't force things to vanish from your life...

............



It's horrible to walk around with all the people passing you by... no connection ... no warmth... no nothing. And I think of those who've been living like this for ages; no family, no friends, no containment whatsoever... how cold that is.

Words are my only strength... and by that I mean the written form. I've had a difficult holiday, during which I've prayed for patience for like, a hundred times per day, everyday.


And it continues... and I pray...





Till next time